Cannot Depend on "the Establishment"

I never realized the importance of the medical establishment's recognition of a disease is until now. Not only in getting well, and relieving symptoms, but in a person's ability to balance his ore her budget.

It's not bad enough that you feel like you're being eaten alive and literally want to scratch yourself down to the bone. But because the disease does not "exist", according to the establishment, no matter how sick you are, you will never qualify for any type of support given to people with acknowledged diseases, for example, SSI.

Believe it or not, Morgellon's disease can render you incapable of keeping a job. I've already lost one job and cannot find another. In late 2002, prior to the job I lost due to this disease, I worked at a bank for 8-years. I always received excellent performance evaluations, but due to a merger, the department I worked for was eliminated, leaving me unemployed. It was right about then that I started to go downhill.

Fast forward a few years and I took a job at another bank. However, this time, due to my lack of dexterity, and mental agility, I literally could not do what was required. It takes me more than twice as long to do any task...even something as trivial as paying for an item at a store. I have to stop and think about each step, and then I have to get my fingers to work in order to count the money. People must think I'm mentally challenged because nine times out of ten I give them the wrong change or wrong amount because all of these people are waiting in line and I'm rushing which makes it even worse. There is significant lag time in the message getting from my brain to whatever part of my body that needs to respond.

Anyway, failing in front of so many people was very humiliating. Eventually, I was let go. At the same time, I was going from doctor to doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me. They tested me for Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's Disease, and every other disease under the sun. I never received an answer. Now, I know why. But, back then, I had no idea.

On top of that there was the surprise divorce, so I needed to provide proof to the courts in order to continue maintaining a decent standard of living (shelter, food, health care, transportation). Well, despite the MRI results showing something was clearly wrong, and paperwork from the doctor stating there was something clearly wrong, because I did not have a definite diagnosis, none of that proved anything. You see, in order for the courts to take your health into consideration, you need a definite diagnosis. Not to mention, to qualify for SSI. I don't even think I'm sick enough to qualify for SSI. I can still do things, albeit, much slower, with very little stamina. But, for the people who have been debilitated by this disease or any other undiagnosed disease, they're destitute. It's very sad that people no longer matter. Only profit.

My standard of living is certainly not the same as it was, however, I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a very supportive family who have helped us over several obstacles. I still do not have a job. I don't know if it's due to my age, my condition, my credit report, or a bad economy. All I know is that I feel unemployable. But, somehow, day by day, by the grace of God, we're making it.